Prawn Hats

Onkel Josef

2006-12-29T09:28:00.000Z

There's an old Ukrainian saying: "Only a fool posts a picture of Joe Stalin at the top of his blog, without an accompanying new blog entry". So be it. Let the lips of every man sing, "Oldhall is a traditionalist, after all"

But none of that really matters, if you're just wondering what I ate yesterday. I say "yesterday" not to fool you into thinking there's anything secretive about what I've eaten today, or even because love was an easier game to play then, no, rather I describe yesterdays activities because it's early morning, I just woke up. Well. I say 'early', but it isn't really so early... but I did just wake up.

Just to confuse you, I'll tell you what I ate in reverse chronological order! Fasten your seatbelts, put on your magic decoder rings!

Late last night I had a bowl of Crispy Rice with milk. I didn't notice if they were name-brand crispies or those do-it-yourself jobs, you know, where you grow rice in the morning in your bath tub, harvest it in the afternoon, dry the actual rice pods in the hot late-afternoon sun, until they're all puffy, and ready to eat by evening. That may have been the case, I just don't remember.

My actual evening meal was pasta, stout round tubes of pasta (I don't know what they're called) with a sausage-enhanced red sauce. Although this meal is what we like to call "leftovers", it was still yummy. The sausage was in big chunks, so that IPM can avoid them... she doesn't like sausage. This may seem strange to you, but think of it this way (as a sort of 'mental crutch'): the way you and I feel about mushrooms, or some other Satan-spawned so-called food, she feels about sausage. I think it's important to try to understand the perspective of others.

Here I am Trying to Understand the Perspective of Others

I was supposed to eat that pasta dish for lunch, but instead I bought two sticks of bread in the morning, and ate those. It's possible that I skipped breakfast.

Eats

2006-11-23T21:15:00.000Z

I ate a turkey today. Or at least, it feels like I did. Also, peas. Yes, it's true, I ate peas. Plus, gravy; there was gravy involved, there's no question. I almost forgot the bread; there was freshly baked bread, so I ate it. With butter. Mashed potatoes graced my plate, I devoured them. Not by themselves, tho', I made sure there were peas with each bite, as well as turkey, and you can't eat turkey without gravy, of course.

The Great Fall

2006-09-13T19:36:00.000+01:00

Here at Prawn Hats Towers, I like to start off every entry with, well, THE START, that is, the first thing of the day. This entry is certainly no exception, I will start the description of my day with what happened even before I opened my peepers... and that is- I had a headache. How often does this happen, that you wake up with a headache? Some profound chemical imbalance between my ears, no doubt. So, perhaps you've guessed by now, my culinary day started with a pair of puny purple pain pills.

They didn't help

Once I reached my place of employment, I cracked open my food. Oh boy!

First, I consumed some scrummy pineapple, freshly whacked to bits by IPM a mere hour previous. As soon as I reached a post-pineapple state, the inevitability of my sandwich weighed heavily on my mind. (As did my headache.) But back to the sandwich... With trembling fingers, I peeled open the hydrocarbon wonder of my sandwich bag, to expose... the bread... the peanut butter... and finally- the jam. In my helpless fury, the jam and peanut butter made a maelstrom of sticky sweetness, on my fingers, on the sandwich bag, pebbles of chunky peanut landing on my keyboard, wedged between the V and the B.

It was a pretty good breakfast.

By lunchtime, I still had my headache, and I was scrutanising my recent activities for some reasonable cause; surely I had committed some punishable offence! I swallowed two more pills.

Lunchtime!

I had leftover fried chicken... some thighs, some drumsticks. I have to tell ya, though, chicken skin doesn't generally sit well when I eat it. What part of my digestive treasure hunt is at fault? I surely don't know. And just as surely, I avoid chicken skin. Now, I know what you're thinking, and you're wrong- I didn't make myself sick. But, at the same time, I can't say I was full, either.

I made it all the way to 3:30PM before The Great Fall... yes, I bought a portion of onion rings. Thankfully, you don't get as many onion rings as you used to (plus they cost more). So, while I didn't make myself exactly sick, I did make a pig of myself. Sigh.

Naturally, after a greasy portion of 'o' rings, I had a wicked sweet-tooth.... I found some gelatinous sugar things... and ate them all. I then remembered the fudge Robert gave me to take home... I ate it. Felt... so... nice...

The evening meal was beef, in a beer sauce, and jacket potato. Again IPM outdid herself with what will sure become a repeating culinary classic of colassal, um, cuteness, maybe?

On-the-Spot Jam

2006-07-25T21:39:00.000+01:00

No, it's not the latest George Clinton rump-shaker.

I started the day by asking for TWO peanut butter and jelly sandwiches this morning, because I knew I didn't have any leftovers. I did have a cut up pineapple, and so, the plan was- the pineapple + one sandwich for breakfast, then the other sandwich for lunch + whatever miscellaneous fruit sittin' on my desk.

Instead, I ate it all at breakfast. Well- not all at once, but over the course of a few hours. And, um, not exactly all of it, I still had apricots on my desk, plus one orange. Nevertheless, by lunch-time, I wanted more to eat. Or, I wanted to eat more. Whatever.

So, I popped over to the store and bought a seeded baguette, plus two thingees of raspberries. Now, I know what you're thinking, and I have to tell you, you're right: I shoved the baguette full of those sweet 'n' juicy raspberries, and it was just like bread with jam. Except no sugar, no pectin, no grape juice added, no corn syrup...

Did you ever think about corn syrup? I mean, really think about it? Look- picture an ear of corn, alright? Now- imagine what you have to do to it to get sugar out... it boggles the mind.

A Small Mention

2006-06-17T09:59:00.000+01:00

I just wanted to alert you all that the 'fresh' peas I bought 'n' ate from Marks & Spencer last week were NOT from Kenya, as they have been in the past, but instead... Guatemala! Maybe I should not have told you right off, but rather make you guess. Some people enjoy it if you make a 'game' out of things.

Such long distances those peas traveled to be chewed up, in my mouth.

My Mouth, Co-starring Other Facial Features

Mall Food

2006-06-10T23:12:00.000+01:00

It was shaping up to be a quiet afternoon, two family members gone-down-south to fulfill a shopping list, one family member being a redundant J, hangin' with the doppelganger.

So, the first-born descendant joined me for a trip up the A1, past the Angel of the North, all the way to the industrial grittiness, the working-class reliability, of Newcastle/Gateshead. Oh yes, and the mall there. Now, I'm not a big 'mall person', when I visit America I quickly get my fill, and, truth be known, last weekend I visited that big mall in Manchester. But only because I had to kill some time... this week, no excuse, I CHOSE to go to Gateshead.

My telephone took this photo

It probably was not a typical Gateshead afternoon, because of all this World Cup business, everyone visiting their favourite watering hole, if you will, rather than digging the newest of the new fashions at Miss Selfridge. What I'm trying to tell you is- the place was deserted (mmmmm... dessert...). We did all the typical mall things, as one does, but pretty soon it was time for a cup of tea. As one does.

We found a place, they had a variety of cakes, but their special deal was- cream tea for two, for under five quid. Well, boy howdy, I'll have me some o' that!
Jus' special for all you furriners who can't be bothered to google it, here's what cream tea is: a scone or two, with whipped or (preferably) clotted cream, and strawberry jam. And tea. So you pile heaping piles of jam 'n' cream on your split-open scone, and politely sip your tea, because it's civilised.

Four pound ninety-five is a great deal for cream tea x2, Joe Bob says check it out.

After our snack things started to feel a bit Twilight Zone-ish, becuase we were the only people in the mall. Well, not really, but it kind of seemed that way.

It was time to start considering our evening meal!

As I drove away from Gateshead, I made a mistake I've made many times, a character flaw on my part, most likely... when suddenly faced with the decision, to either select "A1 North", or "A1 South", I pick the wrong one. See, I needed to go south, I should've picked "south". But, since I was in the north, I picked "north". Rather than turn around and look for a meal on the way home, I noted that my errantly northward projection put us smack dab in the middle of a town. I had nary a clue as to the name of the town (Gateshead, perhaps?), but it looked like there was plenty of food there. The people did NOT look starved. Plus, there were LOADS of cops, just everywhere. We found this place:

So there you have it- we were in "Swalwell". A town perhaps not easy to pronounce, I really don't know. I should've asked someone how to pronounce it, but everyone seemed so pleased about the World Cup, it just didn't seem like a decent thing to do.

I selected Pata Lata Chicken, and it was excellent! Perfect, just great, amongst the best I've ever had. Will I ever visit Swalwell again??? I hope so!!!

First-born had a "Speciality" dish, because it had potatoes, she really digs potatoes in her curry (get it?), called "Paneer Chicken". This, again, was a new one for us.

But she didn't feel that it was outstanding, and would not order it again.

Our restaurant-supplied dessert chocolate looked like this, only smaller:

Goodies

2006-05-20T18:32:00.000+01:00

The last thing I want to do is turn this blog into an advert for some corporate omnivore, but having said that, "last" is a pretty serious word, and although I don't aspire to a title change such as "Budweiser's Prawn Hats", there are probably things I'd like even less. Drowning in boiling pickle juice whilst Billy Joel sniggers at my misfortune is the best I can think of, on this short notice.

But that's not what I want to tell you about.

I want to tell you about how much I enjoy some Marks and Spencer groceries. For example, fresh peas. Grown and picked in Kenya. Altho'... I do take exception to two untruths on the packaging:

Untruth #1: It says you should cook them. This is an awful lot of work, and changes the taste. Alright, fine, sometimes you want hot, cooked peas, but sometimes you want cold, crunchy peas that speak volumes regarding what it's like to grow up in Wisconsin in the early 70s.

No, really! Try it and you'll see.

Untruth #2: It says you should wash them. Again, you could do this, I'm not saying you ought not, but if you do your peas will taste just the water you used. The delicate balance of taste, aroma, and overall feel is- changed. Perhaps if there was an easy way to wash and dry, it might be different. See, I'm very open-minded.

I once told my friend Dick about how much I enjoyed my fresh Kenyan M&S peas, you see the reason I told him this, and the reason I'm now telling YOU this, is that Dick often travels to Kenya. He knows people who find seasonal work in Kenya shelling peas. Or picking them, or something. He KNOWS these people. So- I told Dick this so that he could thank his Kenyan friends, on my behalf, for their hard work in the field of peas (that's a pun, get it, field of peas?), and I also mentioned that I rarely-if-ever, wash them. Dick wrinkled his nose and furrowed his brow, "you REALLY ought to wash them. I mean- please. Please wash them." So I did, but I haven't done so since.

I was going to tell you about other M&S culinary delights, but I'm ready to get up and walk away now. See, I've not even made any hyperlinks. Maybe later.

Peas, M&S The Best Ever Mashed Potatoes, and Marc Bolan

A New 'Low' In Creativity

2006-05-17T21:49:00.000+01:00

I find it funny when people say their blog is "under construction". Does this imply that someday it'll be "done"?

{Yawn}

Finished...

2006-05-07T22:48:00.000+01:00

I finished watching La Belle Noiseuse today. I've had it on VHS for years, but this was watching it on my new 2-DVD set... it was good. After I watch it, I think in terms of "art" for awhile.

Watch it, if you have a chance.

New Personal Scrabble Best?

2006-05-06T16:25:00.000+01:00

I just finished a Scrabble game with J, and I have to tell you... sometimes you really get the letters! I was never stuck with crummy letters, not once, I was even able to use all my letters in one go, accumulating an extra 50 points right there. (The word was "mandrill").

No one ever had an available "n" to make "unfaze" and "no"

My final total- 427 points. This isn't the sort of thing I keep track of, but I imagine this was a personal best.

And now, for no reason, a picture of the kids in 1994...

Another Tuesday

2006-04-25T20:46:00.000+01:00

Last night my throat felt... well... it didn't HURT, but it felt... constricted. I even choked once when I tried to swallow, and didn't. Do you think I ingested poison? It's slightly better today. It helped when I drank a glass of water.

After spilling a glass of water all over myself, 2004.

But that was yesterday! We mustn't dwell in the past. Unless you are an historian, then you ought to dwell in the past. Or at least think about the past. On holiday, you can think about anything you like, obviously. But, if you are an historian, and you're earning your living, "on the clock" as we call it, then you might want to consider thinking about all our yesterdays.

Today, however, was different. I don't know why.

I started with a cup of orange juice. Well. I'm getting ahead of myself- I started with a bit of toothpaste! Tom's Organic, I forget the flavour, maybe it was mink, or wintergreen leopard. As I grow older, I find it so much more satisfying to start the day with a good tooth-brushing. I distinctly remember in University waking up and drinking the rest of the grape soda I had not quite finished the night before.

My UCSB ID photo, circa 1986

But enough of that (no historian, I!), back to the orange juice. I drank it slowly, perhaps because I knew I had to go to work when it was finished. Or because the taste of peppermint puma toothpaste was still in my mouth.

When I got to work, I started eating a cut-up pineapple. It was nice. Sometimes pineapple tastes funny, almost too sweet, but this was just right.

I also ate my PB&J sandwiches, I know, I know, it sounds like a substantial portion, but the truth is- the bread was pretty small. Furthermore, I didn't eat it all at once, in fact, the foods I've already listed were also my lunch! Did that make any sense?

I also ate two pears during the day, as well as the 4th of 4 red apples I bought at Waitrose on Sunday. Now- I know what you're thinking- when will Oldhall learn his lesson, and quit buyin' the cotton pickin' red apples? Well, the joke's on YOU, Señor Smarty-Pants, because these red apples just happened to be totally nummers! So go soak your head!

With my parents & sisters, 1968. I'm dressed as Senor Smarty-Pants.

Mercifully, my work day came to an end. So I went home, anticipating an evening meal. "This oughtta be good!", I said to myself. The evening meal selection was- homemade pizza. Tremendous! M prepared my crust for me, lovingly starting with a doughy mass of... well... dough... and turning it into the fundemental flatness every pizza considers to be the first step of a great journey. I spread olive oil on the crust. I mixed sauce in with the oil. (Upon cooking, the olive oil soaks into the crust, keeping it from drying out, as well as providing extra flavour). I sprinkled oregano on the sauce; also my secret ingredient, anise seeds. Not too many. Fresh chopped garlic goes next. Then the cheese. A few pepperoni slices, and I'm done.

Me in my backyard, Fond du Lac, WI, circa 1975

I've Been Tagged, Will It Leave An Ugly Welt?

2006-04-19T19:49:00.000+01:00

Some little-known weird things about me:

1. I like foreign movies that have neither action, nor plot

2. I used to love food additives, now I hate them.

3. Every day, I try to think about the mistakes I've made that day, and how I can avoid repeating them.

4. I like circus peanuts.

5. I prefer music when it's cacophonous.

6. I take the following pills, but not every day: B6, B12, zinc, copper.

Sunday Night

2006-03-27T01:26:00.000+01:00

I had a fried hamburger for my evening meal. We will call it "burger 1". The thing that's so unusual about this is that I had to cook it on the regular food-heating-device, not on the AGA. The AGA, sadly, is cold. I don't know how to start it. So, doing it the regular way, I set the electric burner on "5" (out of a possible "6") and started cooking one side of that flat beefy circle of goodness. We will call this "side A". I'd formed that pattie (patty?) with some thickness, perhaps too much thickness, so I let it cook on side A for, oh, about 15 months. I hope I got the units right there. Then it was time for side B. I believe this is what we like to call the obverse of side A.

The kids in 1993

I don't want you to think that I didn't consider adding a seasoning of some kind to burger 1. I did make an effort in this regard, but I couldn't find any that seemed appropriate. Now, I know what you're thinking- you think I'm going to list off for you some inappropriate burger 1 spices, such as cinnamon, cardamom, and myrrh. But the truth is- no, I'm not.

For side B, I turned the burner down to "4". I cannot say WHY I did this, but I can speculate:

- I had noted that burger 1 was still relatively thick, and might need more (i.e. longer) cooking time

- The kitchen was rather filled with smoke

- I was lost in the giddy excitement of being the only one home, and decided to make a change that you might characterise as arbitrary and willful

As soon as side B was comfortably underway, it was time to apply a cheesy topping- the one I had in mind was cheese. (It was the cheesiest thing I could think of). It was Creamy Lancashire cheese. I'm sure THAT statement raised a few eyebrows! You see, I usually buy the Crumbly Lancashire, but Morrison's only had grande packages of Crumbly Lancashire, and I wanted something... less. Sometimes a bit of Spanish creeps into my diction, as I've spent a few weeks in California. I hope you can let it simply pass, with a minimum of analysis and commentary. We'll call the creamy stuff "Lancashire 1", and the crumbly "Lancashire 2". You see, this will save typing, and accommodate easy reference throughout the whole day. Obviously, Lancashire 1 was the wise choice for a burger, as Lancashire 2 doesn't melt right. It just stays crumbly. And then falls out of the bun, like some kind of diced onion.

I dunno, maybe that wasn't so obvious after all.

In addition to the cheese, I put a lid on the frying pan. I have not described the frying pan, for several reasons:

- I didn't notice anything about it

- It's not important. I know, this is something of a value judgement on my part, and if you work for a frying pan manufacturer (or you are a frying pan-spotter) you will no doubt take umbrage. I apologise for this.

At this point in the cooking of burger 1, I stepped out of the kitchen. I think I did this because I had turned the heat down, and burger 1 was still thick. I felt, quite reasonably, that I had a bit of time before disaster would strike. Plus, I had something to do! In the living room I had turned on my new laserdisc of 'The Complete Tex Avery' cartoon collection (missing disc #3). You might remember him as the creator of "Droopy", or "Droopy Dog", that short, sad-looking dog. The cartoons are from the 40s or 50s or something. This being a complete collection, and contains plenty of ethnically insensitive material.

I ask you- when your child is looking like this, what kind of parent thinks to grab the camera??? Me, that's who

When I returned to the kitchen, and lifted the lid, I saw... my evening meal! The cheese have completely melted, slid down the side of burger 1, and started to burn. This would make for a crunchy alternative to the juicy softness of burger 1 itself. In saying this, I am presuming that burger 1 means the pattie, not the whole burger. It is unclear to me whether this assumption is good or bad.

Then I ate the burger.

-

Bread

2006-03-14T19:46:00.000Z

Now I've eaten some fresh bread. It had cinnamon and allspice in it. It was very nice, and cake-like.

There are crayons next to me, the orange ones are looking mighty tasty, I admit.

B-fast

2006-03-14T16:23:00.000Z

I've just finished a bowl of Kashi "7 Whole Grain Honey Puffs". They are 'crunchy, honey-touched cereal puffs made from 7 whole grains and sesame'. I have to tell you though, I didn't taste any sesame. Now that I think about it, though, I'm not sure I would've enjoyed a stronger sesame taste.

What Was That Meal Again?

2006-02-11T19:23:00.000Z

You know how restaurants sometimes 'group' dishes into categories? Like maybe "Pork Dishes", or "Desserts", or even "Low-Carb Choices". Well, I'll tell you about a different category, it's a horse of a different feather, but this category never fails to bring a smile to my oft-sour puss; at our fave Indian Restaurant in Leeds, they have a category called, "Meals To Remember". Now, I ask you, {incredulous} what on Earth does this mean?

Will you not be able to remember what's on the rest of the menu? Are they meals to remember because they'll upset your tummy? When they designed the menu, how did they decide- which are the Meals To Remember, which are the Meals To Forget?

Now, I've cogitated on this conundrum so much that anytime I'm really enjoying eating something, I'll announce, in a suitable loud voice, "Now this is a Meal To Remember!" and then quickly look around to see the flummoxed faces...

You're probably wondering why I just described this to you, and the answer is, I just ate something that was very good. I won't forget it anytime soon. Or, as Julie Brown once said, "this is an honor I'll remember for as long as I can".

But I'm getting ahead of myself, because the voluptuous vittles mentioned previously were part of my evening meal, and (ahem) you know the rules, all meals must be described in chronological order. There are no exceptions, and, this being a powerful computer, I'll know if you try to skip ahead. Don't try to outsmart me on this one... I cannot be responsible, if the ordeal leaves you swimming in sorrow.

We joined our friends in York this morning for breakfast.

It was Breakfast at Betty's, but before we get into the details, I have to tell you the funny thing I said- the waitress who took our order, she seemed a bit unsure of herself, and we noticed another, older, waitress standing behind her the whole time. Well, it turns out she (the first one) was new, in training, and the alternate waitress, the redundent waitress, was training her, watching her every move, ready to jump in and catch the metaphorical soup before it lands in some unsuspecting lap. For our purposes, we'll call the trainee "Waitress 1", and the trainer "Waitress 2". Unless it turns out to be more convenient to call them something else. I did not notice their names, or even whether or not they were wearing name tags. I apologize for this. Clearly, if we knew their names, we would be in posession of the Best Solution. Darn! {Pause, awkward silence} I'm going to continue my story now. Waitress 2 steps up to speak with us, and explains that Waitress 1 was new, in training, and if we had any problems, to say so, if we needed anything, and how it's hard when you're first starting a job like waitressing at Betty's, so many things to know, and remember. ...and so I said (here's the punchline), "We'll try not to make any sudden movements when she's around" and I kind of jerked my head back and forth when I said 'sudden movements'. It was very funny.

For breakfast I had what I always have, bacon and egg on a muffin plus cinnamon toast. It was excellent, and I recommend it.

I skipped lunch, because breakfast was neither insubstantial nor early. Well. I did drink something around lunchtime. We walked all around York, and so I was thirsty (not that I have to justify my thirst to you); we popped into Marks & Spencers, and I bought some freshly squeezed mandarin orange juice. Sing along with me here, "What makes the mouth go bounce, the mouth go bounce, the mouth go bounce". It was tart, but nicely so.

Finally we reach the evening meal. It was truly a Meal To Remember! Here's a picture of it:

One of the best 'value 4 money' buys I know of is the fillet steak from Morrisons. I bought two nice chunks of fillet for, I don't know, three pounds fifty or something? What you see above is just one of them. Outstanding. I also bought a four pack of baking potatoes. Above, you can see one of those, as well.

Now, I know what you're thinking: "Oldhall, where are your vegetables?" The sad answer is, I was too lazy to prepare any. In my own defence, however, I'll point out that I ate three yellow plums whilst I cooked my evening meal, so the situation is not as dire as you might think.

Elton John

2006-01-29T15:53:00.000Z

I can think of two reasons why I don't like Elton John.

The first reason is that yesterday, absolutely out of the blue, Candle in the Wind starting going through my head. My, but that is an annoying song!

The second reason is the way, in Candle in the Wind, he says, 'I'd like to have known you, but I was just a kid'. The reason I don't like that, is that- you always see Elton in glossy magazines having his picture taken with 'the latest sensation', it's as if Elton can read about some up-and-coming person, and he has the right to meet them, no matter who they are, and then he feels like he knows them. So then, in the song, he's lamenting that it's impossible for him to have that all happen with Marilyn. Well... (exasperated) that's just tough cookies for you, Elton! Suck it up, like the rest of us!

Cast your mind back...

2006-01-10T22:09:00.000Z

Remember when I used to have time to blog?

Ah....

Test

2006-01-02T19:16:00.000Z

This is a test. If you pass, you can have a cheeseburger.

Apples

2005-12-31T15:16:00.000Z

I love fuji apples. They even have a 'season', which implies an 'off-season', a time of year during which they are not available. Just the thing to teach humans patience, I say.

This morning we visited Tesco, I'm afraid our boycott of Tesco was short-lived. You see, Tesco receives one out of every eight retail pounds spent by Joe UK-Consumer. So, it only made sense to shop elsewhere, support the little guy, so to speak. For awhile, we did this, but... there's always a 'but' in these cases, can you dig it, man, Tesco is on the way home from York, plus they have my fave Fentimanns. I always hope Morrisons will decide to sell more Fentimanns, they only sell the Ginger Beer variety, no Curiousity Cola, no Dandelion & Burdock. So I go to Tesco, they stock all varieties.

It's not like I didn't give Morrisons a fair chance in this regard... I even went so far as to interrogate a clerk at Morrisons, busy in his task of stocking your Cokes, your Pepsis, and so on, I said: "excuse me, you stock Fentimanns Ginger Beer, but not any of the other varieties, you see, there's Curiosity Cola blah blah blah blah", and he said, "no, we don't stock those", and I said, "well, do you think you might, in future?", and he said, "No. No, I don't think so". A bit shattering, to a sensitive spirit such as myself.

But that's not what I want to talk about. I want to talk about fuji apples.

I bought fuji apples at Tesco this morning; in previous visits to Tesco, it never seemed like their fujis were anything special, not the high quality I've come to expect from Morrisons, but, today, they looked very nice. I bought four. Maybe five.

Now, skip forward in your mind, forward in time, into the future of those fujis, to a time when they arrive at my house. You all know the ritual...

1. You bring the groceries into the house
2. You remove the groceries from their paperorplastic (although we use, and re-use, our cotton fabric M&S bags, but don't let that deviation confuse you) (I don't really know if they are made of cotton or not. Maybe later I'll see if I can figure it out)
3. You put the groceries in pre-organised bins, as if they were just so many different Lego shapes

It was in the neighbourhood of step #2 where it all went horribly wrong. The plastic bag containing the fugi apples broke, the bottom of it splitting open. Disaster! We have hardwood floors, and each fuji apple dropped from a height of approx one metre. If memory serves:

v(final)=sq. rt. (2gh)

Where g is 10 metres per second squared, and h is, in this case, unity. So, v=2root5, or ~4.47 m/s. The kineteic energy of each apple would then be (1/2) m(v squared); if the mass of each apple is 200 grams ( 5 per kilogram? is that right?), then the kinetic energy of each apple is about 2 joules. All lost on that hardwood floor.

Or, more accurately, that energy was deposited into each apple...

Bruising was inevitable!

So. New Year's Eve lunch was a cinch- fuji apples. All of them. All of them, immediately.

Now I'm hungry again.

Big B, Little B, What Begins With B?

2005-12-19T22:25:00.000Z

I reckon- I'm not very good at distinguishing patterns.

I see those words typed out, I can't get my arms around them... they are obscure, they relate to 'the other', not to me. I see disparate elements, seemingly disjointed, yet I detect an underlying... something... or, in this case, I don't.

If there was even a hint of talent, then surely, on Sunday, it would have occurred to me to buy bread, and fruit. But it was not to be. I was lame. On Sunday, I was less 'Oldhall', and more 'Idiot Boy, Clown Prince of the Yorkshire Rarebit"

Sunday turned smartly into Monday, with an inevitability usually reserved for the Chicago Bears... and I had no apples, no bread for sandwiches, no bananas (yes, we have no mañanas, get your mañanas today), no pears, no oranges...

Faced with this culinary crisis, I did the improbable, and simultaneously the inevitable: I stopped by the grocery store on the way to work. Now, I have to say I'm schizty about the idea- stopping at the grocery store on the way to work. On the one hand, the store is quiet, the vegetables are just starting their day, the lazy kale, the unnerving courgettes, the Herbert Walker Broccoli... but on-the-other-hand, I'm sad, because my life is not amongst them, I should not be there, when their mother is out, because I have to go to work.

I reckon, that seems to be all I can do today, is reckon, I'll be one of those retired guys who waits for the grocery store to open every morning. 7AM sharp, I'll be standing there. It is true, though, I may have to live someplace weird, with the ever-increasing numbers of 24-hour grocers. Which, I suppose, introduces an even more pathetic image- I'm standing with my pension waiting for a store to open... a store that wasn't closed in the first place. [sigh]

So:

I bought my apples

I bought my pears

I bought my oranges

I bought my date 'n' walnut bread

I ate these things, I ate them in the car, I ate them in the jar, I ate them in the dark, I ate them with my friend Clark, I ate them in the rain, I ate them, because I'm lame.

Maybe, next Sunday, I won't be lame, and I'll remember to shop. Let me mark my calendar, Sunday, 25 December... "buy fruit, buy bread..."

Good Quote

2005-12-16T12:48:00.000Z

My daughter just looked at the cover of the latest Ecomomist magazine and said, "All these Iraqi insurgents have unibrows".

What can I say?

Special Report

2005-12-12T20:46:00.000Z

Today, for the first time, I ate organic celery. My-oh-my, what a difference! I expect celery to not-taste-like-much. ("Subtle", it's called in polite circles). But THIS stuff... it had a strong taste!

Was it good? Did I like it? I'm not sure... you see, I was distracted... there was a problem, the celery was causing a problem. I wasn't sure at first, perhaps it was unrelated to the celery, perhaps it was my fault (operator error, incorrect celery consumption), so I performed some tests, and... it was the celery. Problematic celery. Celery with an attitude.

The celery made my tongue go numb. It's true. I googled it, and this is (apparently) a known problem. Others have experienced this.

Chemistry is weird. Biochemistry is worse.

Another Sunday

2005-12-11T22:39:00.000Z

The day started with church (it was a SUNDAY, after all) , which means, by custom, that we pop by the Kosherie for bagels on the way to St. Luke's. I've always loved the symbolism of this, engaging in the Jewish Law (if you will), before moving on to Christianity. (I suppose most of those terms qualify to have little quotes around them!) It just seems historical to me, I'm reminded of the birth of Christianity by being (at least momentarily) immersed in the Jewish tradition first. Does that make any sense? Sometimes I top off the experience by eating lunch with Muslims, but not today.

I ate a sesame bagel, then a cinnamon-raisin. Dee-lish! After church... another sesame.

We did our Normal Sunday Grocery Shop (NSGS) after that, and my guilty pleasure was... well, there were several. First, a bag of pistachios. I think, when I'm on my death bed, I'll ask for pistachios, and eat them until I'm dead. Also, I bought a chocolate fudge cake thing... actually, I bought TWO of them. The reason for this (I'll bet you're guessing gluttony) was that we had an invite to go to my friend Mike's house to watch football tonight. Fun! Social interaction!

This neatly brings us to the Evening Meal.

Well, not quite- first was an afternoon snack of Irish bread; I developed a taste for this delicacy in (ahem) Ireland, when we visited Cobh in Spring. I toasted the Irish bread, and spread jam on top. I think... it was strawberry jam.

I took this piccie in Cobh, out the window of our room.

The Evening Meal was homemade pizza, at Mike's house. He prepares the bases, and we each apply our favourite toppings. I had ham, onions, a few pepperoni slices... and that was it.

Afterwards, we enjoyed the chocolate extravagance... it was remarkable.

Good bye.

You're Not Going to Believe This

2005-12-04T09:00:00.000Z

I laughed and laughed and laughed..

Should they form a club?

Thursday

2005-12-01T21:13:00.000Z

I started my day with a stereotypical peanut butter and jelly sandwich on granary bread. Sadly, there was a rock in the peanut butter (or, to save typing, I can abbreviate it as "peanu butte".)

A small white pebble. It did NOT damage any of my teeth. What am I to do?

I was in class the rest of the morning, and very hungry by 12:30, when I regained my freedom. I did not hesitate, and consumed the other pb&j. It was fine.

I had leftover spaghetti with large meatballs, that was my intended lunch, and I finally warmed it at about 2PM. But not all at once, y'understand; I microwaved it for 77 seconds, and then felt the bottom, and it was still cold, so I punched in another 88 seconds, and then forgot about it. I returned later, the spaghetti had reached a kind of thermal equilibrium, but wasn't, you know, HOT or anything. So I dialed up another 77 seconds, and I was past caring. I'd done more than my share of microwaving for one day, that was it, I was at the end of that particular microwaving rope.

Ironically, I then only ate half the spaghetti.

The evening meal was a beef roast, or roast of cow as we call it. Along with super-sweet frozen corn, and el potato smasho. Toreador, dude!

Now I've a hankerin' for frosted flakes, I'm pretty sure they are available, if only I could finish this, and amble kitchenward.

Yesterday

2005-11-26T07:55:00.000Z

Yesterday was "recycle the shredded turkey in the form of turkey tacos" day. I chose not to participate in this, however, and instead shredded some BEEF, and enjoyed steak tacos.

Oh, it's time to take a bath... but I'll try to put in a picture... from 1989...

Special Edition

2005-11-24T09:27:00.000Z

If you're eating oatmeal, but your nose smells pineapple, it's very, very weird.

Not in a nice way, either.

Not Thanksgiving

2005-11-23T21:26:00.000Z

There's some reason... that I had oatmeal this morning. Since I've returned to work, I'm back to my old habits: PB&J when I get to work. But not today. So, again I ask... WHY? Why the oatmeal?? What was I thinking, what was the purpose?

I just don't know. Perhaps the key here is: ginkgo- if I drank more of my ginkgo tea, the capillaries in my brain would carry in more oxygen, nutrients, and, um, those other things that I can't remember the name of, and carry away Brain Waste Products (whatever THOSE are). Then I'd remember stuff.

On the way to work, I stopped at the grocery store for the food of the day: fuji apples (a new season! rejoice!), oranges, pears, and date 'n' walnut crusty bread. So then I just ate those things all day. Open up your mouth and feed it, as Weird Al says.

The evening meal was decidedly low-key, since I plan to be out of control tomorrow. I had a Bubba cheeseburger... and a sweet from the French bakery, it had sliced apple on top.

Today

2005-11-20T11:13:00.000Z

Photo from (nearly) 17 years ago

Today is the seventeeth birthday of my daughter. Can you believe it? Yes, I know, neither can I. That was a comfy couch, too, I slept on it through my university years, very often. We still have the blue pillow.

Another Mid-Day Update

2005-11-16T12:49:00.000Z

I think that in order to be completely fair and equitable, it's important to tell you what I had for my evening meal last night, since I've just had my mid-day meal. In other words, if I just told you what I've eaten today, you might feel 'short-changed', as I'd only describe, the morning meal, and the mid-day meal. I hope that's clear.

Now having said all that, the Evening Meal of Last Night was disjointed and perhaps uncomprehensive. (How can a meal be comprehensive, you ask? Beats me. But seriously. I mean 'incomplete'. 'Scattershot'.) I had leftover Small Potatoes, with a mountain of onions all over them.

That was at the normal evening meal time. Then, later, about 11PM, feeling peckish, I popped into an MSG-infested Chinese restaurant, and spent twenty pounds [sigh]. The family seemed to enjoy my selections, but all I could think about was the evilly smiling faces from the glutamate association... laughing at me. I had some garlic & chili chicken, that was about it.

How do I know it was MSG-ridden? Well, I've argued with the cook in that place before, about MSG. He said that in China it is common knowledge that MSG makes you more clever. That's what he said. He really used the word 'clever'.

As I go through life, occassionally I find something... leaves me speechless. That was one of them.

This morning I continued my work with organic corn flakes. It was a successful episode, on account of- I ate the flakes. Yum!

My freshly-completed mid-day meal included a cheeseburger, and chips. Also featured was a carrot.

Are You Ready To Rawk?

2005-11-12T22:26:00.000Z

I decided last night to really cut back on my ibuprofin intake; for the last two months or so I've been gobbling down those reddish-brown orbs of wonder like they were just so much hot buttered popcorn. Typically, about twelve/day (4 x 3 pills). See, this started to worry me a bit... the litany of side-effects is impressive, even if I'm not exhibiting any of them. So, now that I'm 'improving' (my neck/shoulder/back/arm/spine/vertebrae/disk is better, thanks), the twelve/day habit seemed, er, excessive, shall we say.

You're no doubt wonderin' what this long-winded intro has to do with food. Well, not much.

But I will say, in my own defence, that you may now understand, or perhaps you're just closer to understanding, why I rose at 5:30 this morning. It wasn't so much that my shoulder ached due to the ibuprofin retreat, (altho' it DID), but moreover I was simply worried, almost obsessively worried, that I would hurt. So, once I was up, I was up.

I enjoyed a bowl of organic corn flakes, with organic semi-skimmed milk. I don't have any well-developed opinion about the benefits (or 'bennies', as we call them) of eating organic grub, but we-in-the-UK are fortunate that many organic foods are not only readily-available, but also are priced competitively, compared to their corporate, drug-laced counterparts. I reckon the food where I can taste a profound difference is: bananas! Organic bananas are full of flavour (or 'fof', as we say). As an example of price, a large box of organic corn flakes only costs 99 pence.

Our evening meal was pre-planned: M & I were going to enjoy a night out at The QH pub, exquisite pub grub. It was reasonable, then, to de-emphasize our mid-day meal. I'd bought fresh pasta, but even that seemed excessive. We don't wish our habits to be excessive, do we??? Instead, I enjoyed some stalks of celery, about 3 apples, a pear... a banana or two... oh-yes-and-we-mustn't-forget a lovely PB&J.

For our evening meal, M enjoyed thick slabs of the finest goat cheese perched upon garlic bread. With, naturally, assorted cute bits all around. If only I'd remembered my camera! Somewhat predictably, I enjoyed as massive fried haddock, with chips & mushy peas. (And a mere two ibuprofin, for a total of four, for the day)

The Mighty Fish

2005-11-09T23:49:00.000Z

I've not really had the ambition to write in this forum, as of late, and really the only reason I'm doing so is... I had some really nice fish and chips for my evening meal.

I've been hankerin' for The Mighty Fish for a few days now... today the opportunity presented itself, and I pulled the trigger.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

I started my day with oatmeal, hot cereal. You may be tired of reading that I ate oatmeal for breakfast, but I'm certainly not tired of eating it.

For lunch M was not home, now, I'm not saying I'm helpless with her not home, but I will say that she exerts a good influence on me... what I'm trying to say is, I had oven chips for lunch. Plus water. I was supposed to eat left-overs.

Pah!

But the real excitement was during the evening meal. We went to Thirsk because the Tesco's there has the soda I enjoy... Fentimans... and the plan was to purchase evening meal fixin's at Tesco's, but I had another thought... The Mighty Fish. And chips. And peas. Make that two portions of peas.

It's Super Bowl Time! (A super bowl of cereal, that is)

2005-11-01T22:07:00.000Z

One of my favourite mis-heard lyrics: Bob Dylan's "You're Gonna Make Me Loathsome When You Go" ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

My day started with... finishing off those M&S crunchies, the cereal with the dehydrated strawbs 'n' almonds. It was really special because the bottom of the box had a higher concentration of the strawbs. Sweet!

Lunch was... I have no idea. Maybe it will come to me later.

For some reason, that E4 channel is now showing only one episode of Hill Street Blues per day, instead of two. At this rate, they'll never get to Harry Garibaldi and Norm "Beverly Hills" Buntz.

Dinner was- I KNOW this one- a fried hamburger. It was AWFUL. First of all, I bought the beef from the village butcher, so it had virtually no fat in it. No fat does not a yummy hamburger make (as Yoda might say). I melted sharp cheddar on top, that was the only good part. I put raw onions on it, and they were too strong, overpowering in fact. I put sauce on one side of the burger, and it was horrible! It was 'grilling sauce', whatever THAT means, not BBQ sauce. I threw away the rest of this so-called 'grilling sauce'. I was too lazy to prepare a starch product to go with my burger ('cept for the bun).

Lunch, tho'... that's a real mystery. If you think you know what I had for lunch, please leave a comment.

I'll Try Again

2005-10-31T19:44:00.000Z

But if Firefox freezes again... I may take a blog-respite. My time is worthless, but it's a question of pride, I think.

I awoke to the time change this morning, and the +/- 1 hour was very confusing, in my freshly-awoken state. I finally decided that it mattered not a jot, because I was awake... the number of hours slept wasn't going to change, it was, what it was. This is exactly the kind of 'letting go' upon which we should all try to focus.

My breakfast oatmeal was typically exquisite... with raisins and ibuprofin, I was set for the morning.

Lunchtime was something special. Our friend Air On planned to visit us, and share a mid-day meal with the family. Then, he & I would watch Hill Street Blues, and solve the problems of the world during the commercial breaks. And so it was!

Lasagna was the entree. Also featuring- carrots, sliced, cold, nice. There may have beem tomatos as well, but my tomato filter was firmly in place, and was not breeched. Also, garlic bread, or bread of the garlic, as we call it. I had two helpings, it was very nice, the top lasagna sheet was a bit crispy, it's nice like that.

Such a sunstantial lunch obviates the need for much of an evening meal, but I finally found myself a bit hungry, thankfully M made her Famous New Potatoes With Onion and Cheese.

Our doorbell keeps ringin', children hankerin' for a sweet...

I Never Wrote A Song Called "After Midnight"

2005-10-30T19:58:00.000Z

I just lost an hour of writing due to Firefox crashing.

Now I'm cross.

More Of My Nothing To Say

2005-10-27T23:17:00.000+01:00

Yup, sitting here day after day, I don't have much to write... complementing that, however, is the fact that I don't have much to do, so I sit here and type... about not... very... much.

I finally lost consciousness last night after 1AM, and then woke up for my 'morning' at 5AM... sigh. My shoulder was achey, so I forced down three 'profins, with a bowl of M&S cereal, it looks like this, except instead of 'triple chocolate', it's strawberry, with loads of dehydrated strawbs mixed in.

It didn't take me long to realise that my sleep cycle was not complete, so I climbed back into my comfy chair and set the controls for the heart of the sun, or dreamland, whichever comes first, and I pretty much fell right back asleep.

I'm not sure when I woke up, maybe 9AM, and I felt pretty rested, and pretty happy that I'd swallowed those pills earlier. M was kind enough to prepare for me some apple slices, and pear slices as well.

Today was the day M took the kids to see the new Wallace & Gromit blockbuster, except that T stayed home with me. I can't say I made the most of my time, because, as long as I'm home with my malady, the name of the game is really- KILLING TIME. So, I gradually got around to taking my bath, and timed the end of my bath with the start of the two episodes of Hill Street Blues that are shown daily on the new E4-related channel. I enjoyed these, as much (nearly) as I enjoyed watching them the first time around, when we all went over to Curtis' house every Thursday (I think it was Thursday) night.

T was kind enough to make me lunch at this point, I think I was supposed to have leftover stew, but instead, I selected a peanut butter & jelly sandwich. Yum! The only thing was- the bread wasn't sliced, and I needed to select which jam, and I wanted to make sure it was made with the organic peanut butter, not the corporate peanut butter.

So.

I sliced the bread, put it in the toaster (HOT peanut butter & jelly, food of the GODS), and arranged the PB, and the jam, and my big helper T did the rest for me.

After the family returned home, the evening meal was foremost on everyone's mind. You see, we were excited because we'd planned to get some takeaway Indian food. As long as one doesn't do this too often, it's a thrilling prospect, chock-full of both delicate and brutal spices.

It was a spectacular meal... life is good... if only my vertebrae weren't hammering my nerve continuously, things would be perfect. Surgery scheduled for November 8th... the day after my birthday...

Good bye

Type {Title} Here!

2005-10-25T20:20:00.000+01:00

When I get up in the morning these days, struggling to my feet from a restless night on the blue recliner, I'm in one of two states:

a) I just want to climb straight into the bathtub, and stay there a good long time

or

b) Consume a bowl of cereal, either hot or cold, with chunks of ibuprofin sprinkled on top

This morning was state "b)". Thanks to M, the cereal was hot. I try not to think of myself as finicky, but I recently requested we move away from the hot cereal with the peanuts in it. It was a pleasant deviation at first (oooh! peanuts!), but the novelty wore off, and pretty soon the peanuts kind of made me gag. So, this morning was peanut-less oatmeal... accompanied by plenty of ibuprofin.

Lunch was pasta (or "noodles", to you Wisconsinite readers) with olive oil and some grated hard cheese. Also, there were two Morrison's pizza breads, which are simply thin crispy bases with a bit of sauce & spices on top.

Dinner was soup, that had, um, brewed all afternoon, no, that isn't the write wurd, er, I mean, what the heck does soup do? Does it simply COOK? I find that hard to swallow.

Ha ha ha ha hahh a

Anyway, the soup had beef, celery, potatoes... onions, maybe? It was nice. I put these little trans-fat-free crackers in it, and we had Cuban bread from the day before, upon which butter was very thickly spread. Plus a handful of ibuprofin, let's not forget about that.

Now, all I can think about is ice cream.

Or... y'know, I bought this sticky chocolate sponge thing at the store... it is unbelievable, I've had it before.

My surgery is scheduled for November 8th. On that day, a man I barely know will cut me open, and who knows what will come next. I suppose one could say I'll be at his mercy, no?

Good bye.

Hey

2005-10-22T19:22:00.000+01:00

Started the day with oatmeal. It was perfect, I enjoyed orange juice with it.

Lunch was (for the 2nd straight day) (!) a Bubba Burger. They're just so easy to make, and so delicious. You're not supposed to do anything, don't add anything, don't squeeze 'em, just flip it once and be done. Well. I do add cheese.

I had some Waitrose ice cream after lunch, strawberry, boy, it's so nice.

Dinner was a ham roast. It was rather salty. But, there was also mac 'n' cheese, the good stuff, not corporate mac 'n' cheese. Plus, corn. The M&S frozen corn is so nice and sweet... I enjoy mixing it with other starchy products.

I hope I have my surgery soon. They're going to slice open my neck, how many people can say that?

Good bye

And now for something completely different

2005-10-18T19:52:00.000+01:00

In an effort to avoid repeating myself repeating myself repeating myself, I'm going to document here my MRI news... (I'm sorry, I'd much rather write about what I've eaten, next time for sure)

It was absolute torture. As you may or may not know, my nerve/disc/vertebrae problem manifests itself such that... I can't lie down. Without painful nerve-pinching. Sharp, shooting pains down my arm, until it goes numb. So... guess what you have to do to get an MRI??? Yup, lie down.

When I tried it Saturday, I failed, I was only able to make it through one scan (not enough!) before I gave up... so, today was attempt number two, under threat of... sedatives. Now, I certainly don't want that, it's like- "behave yourself, or we'll sedate you", yeah, with a big club, right?

So, today I was certainly intent on giving it my best shot... and, it worked, I lay there long enough, and still enough, that they were able to get good images.

But... what torture! I had to lie there for (M estimated) at least 40 minutes... now, after about 4 minutes my arm goes numb, it turns out if I keep going... the pain comes back, radiating through my shoulder into my arm. Then goes numb again. Cycles back and forth... pain... numbness... etc. It was supposed to be 4 scans... but after 4 scans, they said, oh- we need to re-do two of 'em, plus, I think there was an extra after that

So imagine, if you will, the worst pain you've ever felt, but you can't move, if you do move, you have to start over, and if you fail for long enough, you get sedated... like that Star Trek episode with the crazy doctor that comes on board and McCoy threatens to tranquilise him if he can't behave... that was me...

Friday I meet with the neurosurgeon to see what happens next.

Kirk: What did you say your name was?
Van Gelder: My name? My name is....(winces in pain)....Simon...Van Gelder....I was...the director...of the...Tantalus Colony...I was assistant to...to..Doc-tor.....I knew. I knew, but...they've erased it.
McCoy: Erased?
Van Gelder: Edited...adjusted...subverted me. BUT I WON'T FORGET! I WON'T FORGET! (To Kirk) You're so blind ignorant! You believe I belong back there, don't you? Dead or alive! WELL I WON'T LET YOU TAKE ME BACK THERE! I'M NOT GOING! I'LL DIE FIRST! (McCoy administers sedative) NO! NO! No! (Van Gelder passes out)

URGENT!

2005-10-10T17:07:00.000+01:00

This is an emergency Blog update:

I have just learned that super-sweet frozen corn and (that yellow-ish) pilau rice DO NOT go together. In my life, I have enjoyed corn with rice, mixed together into a heap of starchy goodness, many times. I suppose... all of this is my fault- assuming that any variety of rice would be alright, with any corn, but this is simply not the case.

Reminds me of the time I got LEMON rice to go with my curry takeaway... another match made in hades, I'm afraid.

Your correspondent,
over and out.

It feels later than it is

2005-10-07T21:51:00.000+01:00

Being stuck at home, I'm somewhat restricted, when mealtime comes. Breakfast was hot cereal, as it often is, when I'm at home. By the time lunch rolled around, the family had gone off to run errands, so... what am I to do? A quick search through the freezer revealed two boxes of the individually-wrapped microwave french fries. Score! Jackpot! I ate them.

Then, to reward myself, chocolate chip ice cream. Now, if I'd really been on the ball, I'd have taken a nap afterwards, but no, I didn't.

I then spent much of the afternoon surfing other blogs, and leaving obnoxious comments.

By the time the family returned home, it was time to the about the evening meal... Thai takeaway from Green Hammerton. Woo-hoo! I love that stuff. Number seventy-five with chicken.

Then I had more ice cream. It's alomost gone, get that temptation out of the house!

6060-842!

2005-09-30T21:58:00.000+01:00

It being Friday, I had my normal Friday 9AM meeting. Such a hardship! Such a burden! 9AM, are you KIDDING? Bah!

So, it was 10AM before I had a chance to start my day, er, I mean start my sandwich, as if I could tell the difference between a sandwich and a day. My bread lasted all week, because the Kosherie was 'all out' of the small loaves of granary last Sunday, so I bought the big loaf, which retails for more than a pound (picture: silver-haired Bob Barker "manufactureres suggested retail price of.... one pound and eighteen pence! Fiona you're the next contestent...")

I enjoyed my sandwiches, oh wait, I was going to say- I usually buy the smaller loaf, but then I run out of bread by Wednesday or Thursday, so now I complain that I had to buy the big loaf, and it lasts the whole week. What is my problem? Another example of my close-mindedness biting me on the nose.

I brought to work a second bunch of bananas this week, that's new, I usually bring in the one bunch, but I finished them early this time, so it was a two bunch week. But then, I only ate one from the second bunch.

Lunch was some leftover Irish cheese, which I like because of the salty crunchy granuals that always form on the surface, the packaging says they're lactose crystals or some such nonsense, I think they bits of crunchy delight! But then I started to worry if I was eating too much cheese, that I might have a problem later, if you know what I mean and I think you do, so it was with great pleasure that I found... carrot sticks in my lunch bag! Woo-hoo!

I also enjoyed three gala apples from M&S, especially enjoyable because of their organicness.

Dinner was leftover lasagna... I enjoyed it... then chocolate chimp ice cream.

I can't think of anything else to write, I guess I'm boring tonight.

Good bye.

Keepin' On Chewin', Yeah!

2005-09-27T21:47:00.000+01:00

The morning's PB&J was really welcome, as for some reason I was extra hungry this morning. I had to purposefully take a break between PB&J#1 and PB&J#2. The fruit for the day was bananas and oranges, I have some plums still, but they aren't good, they're rather mealy, and dry. Perhaps the season is now past. If I live long enough, I may start to recognise the comings and goings of the fruit seasons... a bit of chasing the wind, that, as I don't plan to pass the information on to future generations, yes, it will go with me to the grave.

The bananas were good, I had two or three. The oranges were alright, except that the carpel separation was too robust.

Lunch was leftover BBQ, a hot dog, and some steak, plus leftover mac 'n' cheese, you know, the GOOD stuff, with emmental cheese, onions, breadcrumbs...

Dinner was Indian takeaway, you know... it had definitely been too long since we've enjoyed a nice curry takeaway, and this one definitely hit the spot... Chicken Tikka Madras... like, WOW, dude.

My afterwards guilty pleasure was nothing more than a fruited scone with jam and cream, as Lou Reed once said, "I ain't no snob, man"

Mmmm-mmm, fruity

2005-09-13T21:40:00.000+01:00

Since I went to work early yesterday, I didn't take my fruit-for-the-week with me. Today, however, I did bring my fruit to work. As you can guess, it proved to be a high-light, of sorts.

I started the day with a single PB&J, for two reasons:

1) I had so much fruit to eat.

and

2) When I bought the bread at Morrison's, they didn't have any of the already-sliced stuff, so I asked (as one does) for them to please slice it for me, so the young kid working there went to 'go ask', and, as it turns out, their bread-slicin' machine had a fault. Not operational. So, what I'm trying to tell you is, the slicer was broken (can you dig it?), so the bread is "un-sliced", if you will. So now, what we're facing, is bread slicin' first thing in the morning, at the crack of dawn, as it were. Stay with me now- and, what do you get, when you have bread slicin' first thing in the morning??? Hmmm? I'll tell yer what yer get, yer get thickly sliced bread, that's what. Obviously, two of 'em would've been too much. Plus all the fruit, but we've already covered that.

Driving to work, I ate the golden coloured plums, succulent indeed. Then when no one was looking, I'd fling the pit out the car window, but the funny thing about those plums, if you touch the pit it really leaves some goopy mess on your fingers, so, not meaning to be convoluted here, each time I'd fling a pit out the window, I had to wipe my fingers on my trousers... black 501s, so would the plum goop leave some weird, embarassing residue on the jeans? Surely I don't know, but I did worry about it, I really did... until I came across a traffic accident on the Ripon Road, the poor lady was was still stuck in her car, ambulances racing to the scene, blue collar-types in their Transit vans looking annoyed at the delay, yet simultaneously bored, non-chalant, and the poor lady pinned in her smashed up car, is she even still alive as I type these words?

Lunch was two leftovers, at once. Leftover sausages with el potato smasho, and leftover ham steak. Pork-heavy, to be sure!

In mid-afternoon, I helped myself to two handfuls of communal doritos... they were, obviously, delicious, but the rest of my day was laced with MSG-induced sickness. Cotton-pickin' poisoning...

So I went home, end of the work-day, and so forth... felt poisoned. Sluggish, cross, apathetic.

Dinner was home-made pizza, mine was just onions & garlic, I think... It was good, and I supposed helped me through my MSG stupor.

Oh yes, I've also consumed two Klondike bars this evening, they're insidious, Darth Insidious.

Bub bub bub bub bub bub

2005-09-07T19:25:00.000+01:00

I can still taste the chocolate in my mouth... I do enjoy those Rittersport squares, I like that they are really too big to consume all at once, I mean, not that you COULDN'T, but it would be excessive. I enjoy the variety with the biscuit inside... one-or-more of my kids once got me a Rittersport variety pack for Christmas, and that was fine, except that pretty soon all that was left was the weird flavours, that nobody likes.

I started my day with the usual PB&J, still on that loaf of brown bread... however, I reckon it's about finished by now. Who knows what tomorrow will bring!

Lunch was leftover BBQ, hamburger and a hot dog. But then, right before they closed, I popped over to the cafeteria for mashed potatoes & corn. Even with the recent obscene price increases at the cafeteria, mashed potatoes & corn are still just $1 each. Now that's what I call small potatoes, ha ha ha ha ha h ah ah

I also ate, at various times today, a multiplicity of purple plums; they are a bit soft, and if you aren't careful you wind up with plum juice running down your beard, er, chin, whatever.

I may have eaten at apple today as well, but don't hold me to it.

Dinner was some very nice spaghetti in meat sauce, with home-made bread... yes, I do>

Not Much

2005-09-06T23:07:00.000+01:00

It's late, so I'll try to be brief.

You know those Kashi cereals, they always seem to have middle aged women on the front, smiling? Or is it just me, and they're not like that?

Anyhoo, I bought a box of that stuff, a type I'd not seen before, it said 'honey' all over it, and I thought- OOOH! Anti-oxidants! Scrummy! So then M tries it, says- oh, I don't really like it, but YOU'LL like it... so I tried it, and, sure enough, they're Sugar Smacks. I ain't kiddin' 'round here, folks, I'm talkin' "The Sugar Bear".

I just ate some. My evening snack. Mmmmm-mmm

I started the day with PB&J, on brown bread, because the kosherie was all out of granary when I went there (sigh, why is life so HARD sometimes, sheesh). I had quite a bit of fruit left at my desk, I can only approximate... 2 oranges, 2 nectarines.. oh, but most notably... BANANAS! Yes, they were, quite suddenly, RIPE this morning. So I ate, I don't know, 5 of 'em?

Now, lunch was supposed to be- leftover beef roast, and a couple of spuds. However, I never quite got 'round to those, BUT I did go near a vending machine, so instead of the leftovers I had... a king-size Snickers. My friend Dean witnessed my crime.

Dinner was yummy BBQ, I had a cheeseburger, two burned hot dogs, baked chips... uh, I guess that was it. I reads worse than it actually was- no, REALLY! so I rewarded myself with chocolate chimp ice cream, for dessert. I can't complain, life's been good to me so far, dig?

Mid-Day Update

2005-09-03T12:30:00.000+01:00

This is important, because it's new, it's a first... I've not previously made a midday entry. As you might expect, I've not eaten much today...

M & I want for a long walk this morning, and I didn't want to eat before that, but I didn't want to walk without warming up my shoulder in the tub first, so I did that, took a bath. Then we walked.

So. Upon our return home, oatmeal, orange juice & three ibuprofin.

We're going to drive 'west' today, and see what we find.

Hi

2005-08-22T22:44:00.000+01:00

I have received several pointed comments, implying that the overreaching theme of my blog is somehow inappropriate... that I should discuss music, or politics, or religion. To you people, I say: you're just jealous of what I eat. So there, I said it.

After my usual morning PB&J, I learned that my GP could see me, and look at my bad shoulder immediately, so I drove to B'bridge... now, I know you're not reading this to hear what the doctor said, so let me just say that lunch was leftover BBQ. A burger (no bun), a sausage, and a mutiplicity of chicken parts. Drumsticks mostly. See, I bought this gi-normo pack o' chicken parts at M'son's, two quid for, um... about ten pieces? I really don't like supporting that sort of thing, I mean, where exactly did they have to cut corners to sell dems chickens so cheep??? The chicken or the farmer? Frightening!

So I ate them.

I ate a few plums during the afternoon, but they really aren't ripe yet. Bananas- one was already squeezed to death, so I binned it, and ate one other that was splitting open. They are ripening fast, I may have to eat the rest tomorrow.

My evening meal was nice chicken soup, onions in it, as well as rice. I expect I'll have leftovers of it tomorrow, I have to remember to microwave it for a good long time, as half-microwaved soup is not nice.

Young Ted says hello.

I also had french bread with thickly spread butter with my evening meal.

Bye.

The Greasy Chicken

2005-08-14T21:04:00.000+01:00

With joy in my heart, I once again started my day with oatmeal. Yum! The real trouble, though, was my painful shoulder, especially when I first get up, and I wasn't eating at a table...

Anyhoo, the oatmeal was very nice.

As lunch approached, I was definitely feeling peckish; however, I knew it would be awhile before I could eat, since we had to go to Morrison's first. So, I found some of these funny microwave fries, there's a review that says they're awful, but I think they're quite nice. Each one is housed in it's own parallelepiped, which alone is pretty cool. I remember them from my Colorado Springs days, they must've first come out then, we had them at work in the snack area, everyone loved them.

But then everybody decides to have lunch, so- oh well, I have to eat lunch too. I had AGA-warmed, leftover pizza. Oh boy, I'm not remembering what else happened...

You know, you would think... I only have to remember THREE THINGS, breakfast, lunch, and the evening meal, and here I am struggling at lunch.

Maybe I'm thinking AFTER the Morrison's trip... anyhoo, I had Morrison's ready-meal of Chicken Tikka Masala, the UK's most popular dish. And, I must say, it was very nice.

My evening meal plan was, once again, a fried egg, with melty cheese on top, in a granary bap. Which is exactly what I did.

Now, just nibbling on watermelon (sweet, but not very juicy), and blueberries chock full of antioxidants. I suspect that's all you need to know, waddyer think?

Up To The Minute!

2005-08-13T18:56:00.000+01:00

I'm still chewing... this is a timely entry.

My shoulder was hurting quite a bit this morning, I'm afraid I was whinging like a little girl during breakfast, yes, that was probably the case. But, it being a Saturday, I enjoyed oatmeal for breakfast. A wonderful, hot meal! I ate it with orange juice, and three pink pills, to make my shoulder not hurt so much. Did they work? I cannot say.

For lunch, I sliced some cheddar cheese, broke off a piece of granary stick... those were the preliminaries, just so they would be ready, then I fried an egg (the last egg!) on the AGA, and when it was mostly done, I piled the cheese on top, so it would melt. Then I sliced open the bread and put the melty egg/cheese inside. But I didn't eat it right away, I didn't want such a large temperature gradient in my mouth. But then when I did eat it, it was just perfect, another successful culinary strategy!

Alright, so far, so good, but let's get to the tragic part of my eating day- dessert after lunch. Always something of a dicey proposal, dessert after lunch, but the cheese/egg sandwich left me with quite a sweet-tooth! So. My first-born got me big-ish bowl of chocolate chip ice cream... I really enjoyed it, scraped the bottom of the bowl... but then I didn't feel very well. Very full... yet full of rich, creamy goodness! A quandary, leaving my flummoxed. Full, flummoxed, and queasy, that's me, your loyal correspondent!

THANKFULLY, after awhile, M suggested we enjoy a cuppa, my choice... such a good idea! I selected that tearoom by Knaresb'ro Castle, so we jumped into the Mazda and made our way... it's called the Buttery Moat, or Muttering Boat, or Stuttering Goat, some such nonsense... I had nothing but tea, M enjoyed Cream Tea, the scone came pre-buttered, sort of their theme, everything comes pre-buttered, reminded me of that Wisconsin delicacy, the Butter Burger.

Then I felt better.

After working up an appetite in the garden, I was ready for my evening meal!

There was a nice beef roast, how is it that cows are so cotton-pickin' useful??? Golly, I don't know. Also, potato smasho, peas-wonderful-peas, and some nice raw carrots. One of which I was still chewing when I began this entry. Now M has presented me with another cuppa, I am a lucky man.

Good bye.

Type Title

2005-08-11T19:04:00.000+01:00

I had only one peanut butter & jelly today, as we ran out of bread The PB had a hard bit in it, bigger than all previous hard bits I've found in my PB, I was able to inspect it, it was black. It looked like lava.

Hmmm.

It's not inconceivable that I would chip a tooth on this...

Perhaps I need to find alternative PB. Of course, the PB we buy is not cheap, I think it's 'free range' PB.

Also, pineapple. Very, very nice pineapple. Sweet, and of good texture.

Lunch was my 'new', 'standard' lunch, seeded baguette stuffed with aged swiss cheese. I select swiss cheese, once I discovered that it's salt content is much less than other cheeses. Why is this? Why should it be the case? I do not know.

I also ate an orange about this time. The same ones as before, very juicy, you're sure to make a mess, and *passably* sweet. There are still apples left at work, tomorrow will have to be an apple day.

My evening meal was more of the sausages from York, it's kind of funny, there are two kinds, we always get the two kinds, but then we never know which is which. "Here eat another sausage, no I don't know what kind it is"

Ha ha ha ha hha hahhahah hah a

Anyway, along with the sausages was, um, mashed potatoes (in Espanol: el potato smasho), and peas. Ah, peas.

Now, after dinner, all control is lost, I eat Green & Black choco squares, plus some Teddy cookies, eat, eat, eat, Life's Been Good To Me So Far

Tomorrow is Friday, gym day, hopefully my shoulder won't be a bother

My Smallest Thoughts

2005-08-07T22:06:00.000+01:00

First, I ate two sesame bagels, blackberries, and an orange. The bagels were not warm, I had to dig way in the back of the shelf to get them. The orange was very juicy, but not very sweet.

Then, on the Morrisons, I spent nearly fifty pounds (on WHAT?), and a late lunch of two sandwiches, on a granary stick, of freerange turkey from the deli, mature cheddar, and lettuce on the first one, but not on the second. I was too lazy to tear some off for the second. Also, four stalks of celery, with peanut butter. To drink, I had the new Morrison's 'Best' lemonade, lemonade for adults, or so she claimed when I bought it. It was quite good.

But I know how much sugar was in it... and the real tragedy is it was 'but-one-get-one-free', so I actually have twice as much of a bad thing.

Dinner... hmmm... not so sure... oh, this really doesn't count, but our neighbor Helen brought over some pastries, I ate a bunch of them. Trans fats? Yeah, probably.

For tomorrow I have some fruit to take to work.