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Prawn Hats

If you eat a live frog in the morning, nothing worse will happen to either of you for the rest of the day

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Location: San Jose, California, United States

I'm a Westerner.

Saturday, February 11, 2006

What Was That Meal Again?

You know how restaurants sometimes 'group' dishes into categories? Like maybe "Pork Dishes", or "Desserts", or even "Low-Carb Choices". Well, I'll tell you about a different category, it's a horse of a different feather, but this category never fails to bring a smile to my oft-sour puss; at our fave Indian Restaurant in Leeds, they have a category called, "Meals To Remember". Now, I ask you, {incredulous} what on Earth does this mean?

Will you not be able to remember what's on the rest of the menu? Are they meals to remember because they'll upset your tummy? When they designed the menu, how did they decide- which are the Meals To Remember, which are the Meals To Forget?

Now, I've cogitated on this conundrum so much that anytime I'm really enjoying eating something, I'll announce, in a suitable loud voice, "Now this is a Meal To Remember!" and then quickly look around to see the flummoxed faces...

You're probably wondering why I just described this to you, and the answer is, I just ate something that was very good. I won't forget it anytime soon. Or, as Julie Brown once said, "this is an honor I'll remember for as long as I can".

But I'm getting ahead of myself, because the voluptuous vittles mentioned previously were part of my evening meal, and (ahem) you know the rules, all meals must be described in chronological order. There are no exceptions, and, this being a powerful computer, I'll know if you try to skip ahead. Don't try to outsmart me on this one... I cannot be responsible, if the ordeal leaves you swimming in sorrow.

We joined our friends in York this morning for breakfast.

It was Breakfast at Betty's, but before we get into the details, I have to tell you the funny thing I said- the waitress who took our order, she seemed a bit unsure of herself, and we noticed another, older, waitress standing behind her the whole time. Well, it turns out she (the first one) was new, in training, and the alternate waitress, the redundent waitress, was training her, watching her every move, ready to jump in and catch the metaphorical soup before it lands in some unsuspecting lap. For our purposes, we'll call the trainee "Waitress 1", and the trainer "Waitress 2". Unless it turns out to be more convenient to call them something else. I did not notice their names, or even whether or not they were wearing name tags. I apologize for this. Clearly, if we knew their names, we would be in posession of the Best Solution. Darn! {Pause, awkward silence} I'm going to continue my story now. Waitress 2 steps up to speak with us, and explains that Waitress 1 was new, in training, and if we had any problems, to say so, if we needed anything, and how it's hard when you're first starting a job like waitressing at Betty's, so many things to know, and remember. ...and so I said (here's the punchline), "We'll try not to make any sudden movements when she's around" and I kind of jerked my head back and forth when I said 'sudden movements'. It was very funny.

For breakfast I had what I always have, bacon and egg on a muffin plus cinnamon toast. It was excellent, and I recommend it.

I skipped lunch, because breakfast was neither insubstantial nor early. Well. I did drink something around lunchtime. We walked all around York, and so I was thirsty (not that I have to justify my thirst to you); we popped into Marks & Spencers, and I bought some freshly squeezed mandarin orange juice. Sing along with me here, "What makes the mouth go bounce, the mouth go bounce, the mouth go bounce". It was tart, but nicely so.

Finally we reach the evening meal. It was truly a Meal To Remember! Here's a picture of it:

One of the best 'value 4 money' buys I know of is the fillet steak from Morrisons. I bought two nice chunks of fillet for, I don't know, three pounds fifty or something? What you see above is just one of them. Outstanding. I also bought a four pack of baking potatoes. Above, you can see one of those, as well.

Now, I know what you're thinking: "Oldhall, where are your vegetables?" The sad answer is, I was too lazy to prepare any. In my own defence, however, I'll point out that I ate three yellow plums whilst I cooked my evening meal, so the situation is not as dire as you might think.